Mirror images September 11, 1985

 

 Every day, it becomes more obvious that Safire is a lot like my ex-wife, Louise.

Besides the surface stuff, such as both of them having survived the same “life,” in strip clubs and such, they sometimes even shared the same history.

Safire grew up about ten blocks from where Louise did in an exclusive upscale section of Wayne, leaving about the time Louise got adopted by one of the prominent families there.

Safire and Louise share similar values, each utterly practical to a fault, and yet, caught up with romantic ideals that somehow run counter to their fundamental natures.

Both struggled to survive, doing whatever was necessary to make ends meet, though Safire is more intelligent than Louise, and smartly found a way to exit that old life before it complexly consumed her. She eventually came to realize she was living in a fantasy, something Louise still hasn’t completely abandoned.

Safire is savvy to the threats such illusions bring and stopped falling for the lines every smooth-talking man gave her, something Louise still falls for.

Louise keeps repeating the same mistakes, Safire has long come to realize only causes her harm.

Both women want to know where their next meal is going to come from and need to maintain a place to live.

But Safire to accomplish these sold herself into an unhappy marriage.

Louise doesn’t understand things outside her sphere of experience, such as the life style Pauly aspired to when living in Towaco, a carefree, almost reckless liberal life of the artist that would scare Louise to death to try to live.

Louise got scared when I brought her to meet Pauly and Rick at their house on the lake, taken totally out of her world, although she appreciated our visit to the amusement park.

Safire still stings from her life at the Triangle Bar and has struggled to keep from getting put back there – even by her husband. She understands there is more to life than heavy drinking and cocaine.

Louise lacks Safire’s vision of what might lay beyond the boundaries of her small world, what else she might achieve, what other kinds of people she might meet, she rolls around in the same orbit constantly, aching for change she can’t accomplish unless she leaves that orbit.

Safire actually sees beyond the confines of her environment but is frustrated by her inability to reach what she sees or get what she wants.

Both women lingered on the edge of the much darker world of strip clubs. Louise got forced out. Safire left it on her own accord.

Yet both women appear to be trapped, one blind to what she might have, the other frustrated by the fact she can see something better yet can’t get it.

Both women strangely still depend on me – Louise for financial help, Safire assuming somehow, I am the key to her release.

That scares the crap out of me.

 

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