Big Brother is watching you July 8, 1985

 

Dear Mr. Adams:

When you first left for the west coast some six months ago, we at this office were greatly relieved. You have long been on our most notorious file, always wandering around the back roads of western New Jersey on your motorcycle or worse your VW.

Very, very suspicious, Mr. Adams.

We did nothing. We were content to watch and wait, wait for that inevitable moment when all these practice runs turned to something more devious and diabolical.

We waited. But nothing happened.

Then, you went west.

It was like a dream come true, us believing that you finally chanced the error of your ways and chosen a simpler and less adventurous way of life, one that would reward you with the benefits of civilization.

We had no idea that you would continue your scurrilous ways on the roads of Southern California.

Perhaps we should have suspected something when we heard that you had purchased property along the eastern side of the Andres Fault.

Indeed, some of our staff – fond of the first Superman movie – jokingly suggested you might be mapping out beach front property to make your fortune with after you set off a nuclear device, causing everything west of your property to fall into the sea.

The more reasonable of us shrugged off this unwise real estate actions as another of your foolish capitalistic scheme, and we let it go.

Then, the earthquake hit.

Why such an event should raise alarms here 3,000 miles in the east seems ridiculous. But our office went crazy just the same as we all tried to keep track of you – just as we need to keep track of all those who would do dastardly deeds.

Local officials out there, caught up with their own issues, didn’t take our concern seriously. That is until the super secret stealth fighter, the F-19 crashed a mere 12 miles from your current location. While we know the pilot was not you, we suspect you were intimately connected to the flight, the earthquake, the beach front property scheme and perhaps other scams we are yet unaware of. We suspect that the failure of your schemes was likely due to some miscalculation or bad luck, rather than any sense of kindness on your part – or for that matter, any sudden acquisition of conscience.

While we can prove nothing (otherwise you would already be in custody), we think it wise to warn you that we are watching you closely and that one more incident of this nature and we will be at your door with warrants. This is both a promise and a warning, Mr. Adams, one that I would seriously heed if we were you.

Remember, we are watching.

Come back to visit soon. I’ll buy you a beer.

 

Sincerely yours,

Big Brother

 

 1985 Menu


email to Al Sullivan

 

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